Dear friends,
I know I've posted a lot this year on what can go wrong in churches. I know that sometimes it's tempting to get down on churches if you've been hurt before, but there is a good reason for them! Actually, several! Here goes! (Note: I originally wrote this article many years ago in the context of the home schooling movement. If you aren't teaching your kids at home, just ignore those references!)
Why
the Church?
I’ve
noticed a lot of discussion (and debate) in home schooling circles about “the
church” -- what it is and what it should be like. I know there are many home
school families who are as cynical toward the organized church as they are to
the public school system. In the past 30 years, due to family moves and other
providential circumstances, I’ve had the privilege of membership in over a
dozen congregations with slight to moderate variations from one another. Each one was manna to my soul in some way or
another! As an avid student of theology, I care deeply about sound doctrine,
but I’d rather be in an imperfect church than none at all. If I ever find the perfect church, I won’t
attend it, because I wouldn’t want to ruin it!
Yet we have also left churches because the problems were serious enough that
we needed to find a healthier place to worship and grow together. I see this as a matter for serious prayer and
contemplation.
I
think home school families face some unique challenges with the churches they
attend. On one end of the spectrum, some
churches seem apathetic or even antagonistic to the home schooling lifestyle, making
you feel "weird" and old-fashioned. Or you might worry about
worldliness of other kids or the wishy-washy doctrinal teaching within the
youth program. This can certainly be a concern, because you have little control
over what resources they choose to use, and the Emerging/Emergent church
movement (which is quite often heretical) is making deep inroads in youth
ministry programs within evangelical churches.
I really appreciated one of our former churches, which highly encouraged
and even expected parental participation in all youth meetings. We knew what
our kids were learning and had the chance to follow up with them about it
later. It also gave us the valuable opportunity to get to know and observe
their friends, which was quite important to me.
On
the other hand, you might encounter a church where the home schooling lifestyle
is firmly entrenched or even mandatory for those who are core members or
leaders. Here the challenge is more of
conformity and control. This sometimes
escalates into the abuse of spiritual authority, especially in churches with
roots in the shepherding movement of the 1970's. In a legalistic church, if your family
doesn't fit in with what is expected, you may find yourself on the outer fringe,
deemed second class citizens. Or, if you do fit in, you might be tempted toward
elitist self-righteousness and make other people feel unwelcome. In some ultra conservative home schooling
churches, there are rigid man-made standards for dress, worship style,
entertainment, etc. Are people treated
as pariahs if they don't toe the line? Will
they be kicked out of the proverbial holy huddle? How will this rejection
affect the children, especially the teens? Will this pull them toward outward
conformity (accompanied by depression or anxiety when they can't measure up) or
push them into overt resistance (often
labeled rebellion by the overzealous) because they rightly discern that the
standards are ridiculous? Either way, it
is not likely to nurture them into a full and vibrant faith. They will see the lack of warmth and joy and
be repelled. Can we then blame them for
latching on to wild and crazy friends who at least accept them for who they are
and know how to show them a fun time?
Yes, churches need to have reasonable Biblical standards for behavior,
but there also needs to be a whole lot of grace and exuberance for life that
makes it all possible and worthwhile. Ask yourself, "How is my church
affecting my level of joy, peace, and compassion? Am I drawn to worship God from the
heart?"
"The Lord says: “These people come near to me with their
mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their
worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been
taught." Isaiah
29:13
Fortunately,
church does not have to be an ordeal.
There are plenty of normal, grace-filled, life-affirming churches to
choose from. Don't give up your search!
The
most important reason for the church is that Christ himself established it.
Yes, we automatically become part of the universal Church when we become part
of Christ, since the Church is his Body. But there is also a need for faithful
fellowship with other believers in your geographical area. Web boards, e-mail
lists, and TV broadcasts may enhance our Christian growth, but they are no
substitute for the living, breathing local church. A local church offers a diverse mix of
backgrounds to broaden and deepen our spiritual lives. What a joy it is to walk
into the auditorium each week and see people so different from me! “Every
color, dark or light, they are precious in his sight!” Jesus is Lord, not just
of white middle class Americans, but over every nation, every skin tone, every
socio-economic status and educational level. This kind of healthy diversity builds
respect for others into the lives of our children. There is no sense of us versus them but of being dear brothers
and sisters in the Lord. I can learn from those who are further along in the
Christian journey, while at the same time helping others along the path.
A
local church offers flesh-and-blood accountability. I know how easy it is
to drift in the Christian life, even after decades in the faith. Having people
personally looking out for my spiritual life is a vital safeguard for my faith.
I’m not talking about an invasion of privacy here, just a valid concern that
allows certain people to ask, “What is the Lord teaching you right now? Is
there any way I can help you through your struggles?” If there is a
disagreement, this is a valuable opportunity to be like iron that sharpens iron
to one another. If I get off balance, my brothers and sisters can bring me back
to reality again. Most likely, I’ll even be prevented from getting to that
place because I am hearing the whole counsel of Scripture wherever I turn in
the church!
A
local church offers in-depth teaching and corporate worship. The good
pastor invests hours of his time to prepare his message each week. He wants build his flock
through the public preaching of Scripture rather than amuse them and make a
name for himself. Likewise, the musicians work hard so we can lift our own
hearts in praise to God. Rather than find all the reasons why we didn’t like
the sermon or the music, do we take the time to express our sincere
appreciation to those who so faithfully serve us? What a responsibility!
A
local church offers a place for adults and children to develop and exercise
spiritual gifts and works of service. The preacher can’t do everything by
himself! Each member must do his or her
own part, though mommies with little children must certainly be careful not to
overdo. It is especially encouraging to see young people being mentored into
church life by serving on the worship team, reading the passage at a Bible
study, scrubbing floors, collecting the offering, tutoring students, serving
meals, or watching out for the wee ones at a church function. This is such a
practical part of their training into maturity.
A
local church can choose to offer educational opportunities to round out what we
are trying to do at home. Our former church offers a lot of
support for home schooling, through tutoring classes in high school math and
science, free enrichment classes for all ages, support meetings and
workshops for dads and moms, and used curriculum sales.
A
local church supports missionaries in other lands. Part of a church’s
budget is usually set aside to extend the gospel around the world through
financially sponsoring missionaries. Many churches send members on short term
overseas outreach trips, including whole teams of teens and young adults.
Yes, your local church can be one of
your most important support networks in
home schooling! What can you do to serve
and grow?
~ * ~
