Looking to the Good Shepherd Jesus for the example of how to care for others... Keeping a discerning eye on those who claim to be shepherds of God's people... Learning to recognize, heal from, and speak out against abuse -- spiritual, emotional, verbal, and physical -- in churches, organizations, families, and society.
Dear friends, Welcome back to my Advocating for the Vulnerable series. This time, let's talk about caring for the poor. This is a huge topic. I'm only going to give you a tiny little sliver from my own recent and near future experience in collecting items to give to the disadvantaged. (You can read about past ministry projects here.) A little here, a little there adds up. We love to partner with other people and organizations who have great ideas. Here are three: one with a global outreach to children, one to migrant worker families, and another to the downtown homeless. Operation Christmas Child
Ever year, our church's Sunday School kids love participating in the Operation Christmas Child program from Samaritan's Purse. In the fall, the organizer, Debora Lisle, asks folks in the congregation to bring in small gifts such as toys, school and craft supplies, hygiene items, and other goodies for children living in impoverished regions of the world. The kids then spend a lot of their class time for several weeks assembling and filling the bright red and green boxes. I am astounded by how many boxes they do considering Lake Baldwin is a small church and on any given Sunday there are only 30-40 elementary age kids. (The exact number of boxes this year is a secret to be revealed in church next month, but I can tell you it is in the hundreds.) Then we have a party where we load them into cars and take them to the local drop-off point, Northland Church.
This semi at Northland is already full!
OK, that's pretty global. They're estimating that this year will mark 100,000,000 gift boxes since 1993! Please go check out the web site, Operation Christmas Child. It's not too late to donate. If you don't have time to fill a box yourself, you or your child can still have the fun of picking out the gifts online with their Build-a-Box program.
DeNeef Village I don't know a lot about this, but I do know that my friend Allura Lightfoot at Metro Life Church has been taking a group out to the DeNeef Village migrant trailer camp in Apopka twice a month to serve the families there. They are gathering Christmas gifts for the children, as well as gift baskets for the moms. I asked the students in my home school co-op English class to bring in items for the mom's gift baskets, and we've been able to fill two so far. To get them in the spirit, I brought in the picture book Lights on the River by Jane Resh Thomas, which is about the plight of impoverished migrant workers. It's one of my favorite books, and I warned them that I would cry when I read it. I think it made quite an impression on them. I also asked Allura about putting together first aid bags for the families with bandages, individually packaged antibacterial wipes and other items. She said that any family with kids would appreciate that! I'm scheming how to pull that off. If you want to help out with that -- especially with supplies or money -- let me know. I'll try to write more about migrant workers in the future. I'd even like to go visit DeNeef. I'll bet you have migrant communities in your area, too. Are any churches or organizations reaching out to them? Homeless in Downtown Orlando There are many fine organizations working with the homeless in Orlando and I applaud what they are doing. But individual people can make a difference, too. My daughter Julia Corbett has a heart for ministering to the homeless and those in crisis pregnancies. (Allura has been a wonderful mentor!) Two years ago, Julia organized a clothing and blanket drive. I was amazed at how much stuff showed up at Metro Life Church. She also packaged up snack bags and put a Gospel of John in each one. Her team loaded it all up, took it downtown, and started handing them out. They were able to bless about 50 people. I just found out that she and her husband are going to do it again in early January. I think I might try to do some first aid bags for this project, too. I don't know all of the details yet, but if you're interested, let me know! In the meantime, you can visit these web sites to learn about helping the homeless in Orlando.
I hope this inspires you to do something, big or small, with your family to bless the needy in your community and around the globe. You may also wish to read these posts:
It's
happened again, another horrifying and tragic episode of domestic
violence in our community, leaving several dead and one critically
injured. In the Orlando area alone, eleven people in the past several weeks have been killed because of domestic violence. We read these so often in the news that it's easy to become
numb and then turn the channel, turn the page, click the next link to think about something a little more cheerful.
You
might assume that domestic violence does not affect you or anyone you
personally know. You are probably wrong.
First,
think of the ripple effect in society. When families are torn up by
domestic violence, there is a cost: lost education and income
opportunities for both the victim and abuser, on-going medical needs
from injuries and psychiatric disorders, increased substance abuse,
impact of the possible death of a parent (usually a mother),
necessary government intervention, potential homelessness, children
who grow up to perpetuate the vicious cycle and increase crime rates
and more.
Think of these sobering
statistics:
1 in 4 women report being the victim of
abuse by a spouse/boyfriend in their lifetime. (United States statistics)
More than three women per day are murdered
by their husbands or boyfriends.
Women suffer 2,000,000 injuries per year
from domestic violence.
You know, the ones who don't know how to get along.
Oh well.
Stop
and think again.
Unless you are a hermit,
someone youpersonallyknow is probably the victim of
domestic violence. Perhaps someone in your church or Christian organization. And you could be completely oblivious
because it's not something a victim really likes to advertise. It is
humiliating. There is a stigma, especially among Christians. There is a fear of
reprisal from the abuser if anyone finds out. There is a fear of having to
single parent, with all of the emotional, logistical and financial
ramifications. It's hard to rock the boat, to risk upsetting things even more
than they already are. It's easier to deny, minimize, try harder to make it
work.
You might wonder how a Christian family could be affected by
domestic violence. I think the desire for control over others (often with the
sincere intent of having a “godly” family at all costs) and the inability to
control anger are two prime factors. This is compounded by the fact that many
Christian women feel like it is their duty to submit to whatever their husbands
say or do (as long as the wife is not personally sinning), and so they continue
to enable abusive behavior. They may reason that their husbands are otherwise
decent, hardworking members of society, and they don't want to damage their
reputations in the church or community. Many Christian men insist it is their
right as the leader of the family to assert their “God-given” authority and
enforce whatever they wish to say or do. The wife may think, “He is controlling
and verbally abusive, but he's never physically hurt me,” but if that goes
unchecked, it can easily slide into physical abuse. Or she may think, “Well, he
pushed me and I got hurt, but that was an accident. He's never tried to beat me
up.” It's still physical abuse. If it happens once, it may be an accident that
you can get past. But if it continues to happen, it is a pattern that needs to
be interrupted.
In some cases, domestic violence against the wife occurs when she tries to
intervene when her husband gets out of control while “disciplining” the
children. In many Christian circles, especially among conservative home
educators, there is a fear of both government intervention and professional
counseling/therapy. There is also an emphasis on Christian marriages staying
together at all costs “until death do us part” – which sometimes it does when
one spouse murders the other. Whatever the reasons, whatever the extent, these
extremely unhealthy dynamics are something for a qualified, professional
counselor to explore. (Pastors can help, but some of them are just not
equipped. In so many cases, a wife is told to just go home and pray for her
husband, forgive, stop being so bitter, submit more, give him more sex, keep
the house cleaner, get the kids under control, and try harder not to make him
angry. This is total crap! Seriously? Blaming the victim just won't cut it
anymore.)
I am no expert on domestic violence, but I do personally know
several families who have been affected and I have been involved in
intervening/supporting in a few cases. Several of my friends and fellow
bloggers have also been directly and regularly involved in counseling women in
abusive situations, especially in Christian families. I appreciate their
input about this topic which has enabled me to write this article, which I had
already been planning for my series onAdvocating for
the Vulnerable. I've been
asking around and gathering my information for a while. I can't write a
comprehensive or scholarly article, but I can ask you to stop, think, read some
more.
Recognizing Domestic Violence:
The symptoms: unexplained injuries, fear, depression, anxiety, self-loathing,
distrust, isolation, avoidance, overly passive or overly aggressive behavior
The kinds of abuse: physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, financial,
spiritual, etc.
The repeating cycles and patterns of abuse:
violent incident
guilt, excuses, remorse, reconciliation
calm/normality
tension/escalation
The psychological tactics of abuse: dominance, intimidation, threats, denial, blame,
isolation, inappropriate rules, belittling, shaming
If
you are the victim of domestic violence, PLEASE don't go it alone.
Get help. If you have children, they are at risk too. You can't
shield them forever. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for
them. Start by confiding in a trusted friend, family member, or
pastor. If that doesn't work, try another one until someone will
listen and help. You don't have to advertise it to everyone. You
can get help discretely. If you are in danger, find a safe
place to stay, or,
if possible and if safe, insist that the abuser leave the home.
You might not think you can handle being separated from your
abuser, but you can! You might not trust government intervention,
such as from the police or social services, but it may be just what
you need.
If
you know a victim of domestic violence, offer help. Don't turn a
blind eye. You might not already know what to do. Start
researching. Compile of list of resources, such as hotlines, web
sites, safe houses or social services, that your friend can use. I
have listed many of these below. Arrange a safe place for them to
stay for as long as necessary. And don't forget to listen without
minimizing or invalidating or excusing their concerns.
I have created a domestic violence resource page on this blog that has a complete list of links; I will attempt to add to it as I find more helpful resources. Some of the links from that page are below. Other domestic violence articles on this blog:
Please note that I am providing
these for your information. I do not endorse everything you will
find at these sites. Important: If you are a victim of
domestic violence and you are using a computer to gather information
or gain on-line support, please be sure to use an incognito web
browser or erase your history as you browse. Please also be aware
that your abuser may be tracking your web viewing with software
designed for this purpose. If that is a risk, use a computer that
your abuser cannot track, such as one at a friend's house or public
library. Click here for more information on How
to Cover Your Tracks.)
RAVE: Religion
and Violence e-Learning(note: this site has embedded audio that plays as soon as you
load, so if you need to be discrete about what you are doing, turn your sound
off or plug in earphones before you click)
"Love that is coerced is
not real, and neither is submission that is coerced. Personal dominance,
dictatorships in marriage and other forms of mind control that are camouflaged
by religion are all unbiblical. No religion or denomination has
permission from Scripture to control a woman. Some try hard, but they
have to violate Scripture in the process. The biblical truth is that no
human being is justified coming between you and God. In the end of time,
when it is your turn to stand before God, you will face Him alone."
Elisabeth Julin in Submission Is Not Silence
SafeHouse
of Seminole:A
confidential shelter for victims of domestic violence and their
children, includes counseling, practical support, legal help, etc.
www.safehouseofseminole.org
Harbor
House (Orange County): Shelter
for victims of domestic violence, includes counseling, practical
support, legal help, etc. www.harborhousefl.com
Kids
House of Seminole Children's Advocacy Center:Help
for families dealing with child abuse; friendly, non-threatening
atmosphere, includes counseling, support, information on
resources, referrals for substance abuse treatment, etc.
www.kidshouse.org
I
did not fully address child abuse in this article on domestic
violence. I have already done this at:Child
Discipline or Child Abuse?
I hope that this article and links have equipped you to open your eyes and take a stand against domestic violence. Let me know if you need help taking the next step.
{Repost from October 2008, with lots of extra notes at the end}
Dear
friends,"The
LORD spoke through his prophet Isaiah: "Is not this the kind of
fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the
cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is
it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor
wanderer with shelter—when you see the naked, to clothe him, and
not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will
break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then
your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will
be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you
will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. "If you do away
with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious
talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy
the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the
darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The LORD will
guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered
garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will
rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with
Dwellings." Isaiah
58:6-12 New International Version (NIV)
I
found this passage during my quiet time this morning and it is so
relevant to me. I've been thinking a lot about justice lately -- how
to live it, how to help make it happen for others ("the
oppressed"), and how to teach it to my children. (Of course,
that means learning how to treat each other better right here at
home.) I try, but I come up short time and time again in applying
these truths. So I seek insight and encouragement. A trusted friend
at church commented recently about how a Christian book, Good News About Injustice by Gary Haugen,
is totally rocking her world. I think a lot of us need to be
challenged in this area. I know I do.
I read Isaiah 58:6-12
again to some of my children at the start of our home school day,
stopping to define words like "oppression" and "yoke"
along the way. Later, Ben found an old Bible alphabet puzzle in the
closet and saw the Y piece with the yoke picture. Then he understand
what I had meant, at least a little bit more. A yoke steals freedom.
It is hard and unbending. It makes you do things that you would not
otherwise do.
A simple picture like this is worth a thousand
words. And pictures are sometimes what we need -- visual ones, verbal
ones, relational ones -- to shake us out of our lethargy. The
promises are profound: we shall live as well-watered gardens in the
midst of a sun-scorched land, with light and healing, with guidance
and protection. Isn't this such a comfort even in such a time of
financial turmoil and global conflict? Our blessings are not always
tangible ones like money and the tantalizing things it can buy. They
are the essential ones of inner peace and joy, of the paradoxical
wholeness that comes from being broken for others, of the knowledge
that we have made an impact in the lives of precious human beings.
I
searched the web for something about Bolivia this
morning, and by chance came across a site mentioning a movie about
the crime of human trafficking -- modern day slavery. I wept. What
can I do? I don't know yet. Thad and I are going to Sara Groves' Art*Music*Justice concerttwo
weeks from tonight in Tampa; it is a benefit for the International Justice Mission,
which deals with this issues. I also rejoice to see folks from our
church doing things like organizing a rummage sale to benefit a
Haitian orphanage damaged by the hurricanes. This is Christian
compassion in action. I want to be part of all of this, as busy as I
am with my own large family. I hope I will breathe it until the day I
die. I hope I will pass it to my children, not just in words but in
my own example. That's how my daughters got involved in the pro-life
movement at first. Then they stayed in it because they believed in it
for themselves, even though I haven't been as directly involved for
several years. Now it's my girls who decide to order the "Love
Lets Live" T-shirts from the pro-life web
site http://www.abort73.com/.
(Yeah, I ordered one, too -- I didn't want to be left out!)
I'll
write more on the topic of justice later, I am sure. More and more
and more, even as I have written in months past. You can see some of
it in the categoryDo Justice ~ Love Mercy.
What
about my blog title today, "Justice by Heart"? It was
partly inspired by the novel, Words by Heart by Ouida Sebestyen,
in which a young black girl (a Bible memory whiz) must painfully
learn to apply the Scriptures about forgiveness when violence erupts
against her own family. Then this morning, Ann Voskamp's Holy Experience blog
mentioned Ann Kroeker's Mega Memory Month project
where a challenge has gone out to memorize something substantial,
something MEGA. I am personally choosing Isaiah 58:6-12, along with
my own related poem, "Corpus Christi."
It's not really really MEGA but it's enough for me right now. I have
already written three of the Isaiah verses up on our white board in
hopes that my family will join me in this challenge.
What will
you memorize? And how will you then live?
"Do justice,
love mercy, walk humbly with your God." (See Micah6:6-8)
~*~*~
Extra Notes in 2012
I wrote this post about four years ago when I was starting to think more about the social justice movement. While at the Sara Groves concert, I bought a copy of Gary Haugen's book Just Courage: God's Great Expedition for the Restless Christian, which was very challenging. I followed it up a few years letter with Tim Keller's Generous Justice: Finding Grace in God through Practicing Justice. I have subscribed to various blogs that often feature social justice themes. I have also written more extensively on justice themes on my main blog in this category: Do Justice ~ Love Mercyas well as on this blog in the Advocating for the Vulnerable category. I am particularly interested in the human trafficking issue right now.
So, I've been researching and writing.
Words. Lots of words.
And deeds?
Well, I hope so.
I try to do the things that are in front of me and then beyond.
The things that are for me to do.
Julia in Bolivia, 2009
Small kindnesses.
Sticking up for the downtrodden.
Giving money to charitable organizations when I can.
Donating canned goods to the local food drive.
Sending money and stuff to Malawi.
Training and equipping my own kids to do justice and love mercy. (A long way to go here, to be sure, especially in our own home. However, my 10 kids have been involved in foreign mercy mission trips, Operation Christmas Child, serving the homeless, standing for the unborn. They do what I often can't in this season of life.)
So yes, deeds too.
Sometimes I feel guilty that my active deeds aren't enough.
That maybe social justice is just a fad to me, the "in" thing to write about in my circle of bloggers, but what am I really doing?
I haven't done anything huge.
I haven't adopted a child out of foster care or from a poverty stricken country.
I haven't traveled around the globe to dispense medicine or bust brothels.
I haven't even gone downtown to feed the homeless (at least since I was in college).
But then I also realize there is nothing wrong with my words.
I am a writer and a teacher. Whether it is writing a blog post about abuse of authority issues, or teaching my home school co-op students about human trafficking or homelessness, or giving a workshop on justice issues in American literature, or posting links to news articles on Facebook, it makes a difference.
That is what I do.
That is, perhaps, where I am most effective and most efficient.
Two black swallowtail butterflies with freedom to fly!
Dignity, Decisions, and
Liberty of Conscience
As
I write on this Watch the Shepherd blog about the abuse of authority and advocating for the vulnerable,
I often think of another underlying theme: liberty of faith
and conscience. This applies to churches, marriages, parenting, education choices, and so much more.
Many
of us are very passionate people with strong opinions. That is vital
in an age of apathy; our zeal and vision motivate us to stay
intimately involved with our families and communities. If we have
found something good, something that works for us, we want to share it. If we have learned a solid Biblical
doctrine, we want to teach the truth to lift others up. If we have
a favorite candidate or cause, we join the campaign, donate the money, put up the signs in our yards, and promote our views with Facebook status updates. If we see
someone engaging in unhealthy, questionable or destructive behavior
or relationships, we want to help them break free before it is too
late.
There
is a time for firm intervention, especially when we are advocating
for vulnerable people. It is appropriate to contact authorities
about illegal activity such as human trafficking, child abuse, sexual
abuse, drug dealing, or tax evasion. It is appropriate to stage an
intervention, such as a trip to rehab, if someone is destroying his
life with substance abuse and has lost the ability to reason. It is
appropriate to warn someone who is doing something stupid, such as
continuing in a violent “romantic” relationship. Pastors sometimes need to disfellowship members who are engaging in serious unrepentant immoral behavior. A parent certainly has the right to make decisions on behalf of a minor child, such as curtailing unwise friendships or the use of technology, although a wise parent also gradually releases hold of the decisions in order to launch the child to healthy independence.
However,
there can be a negative side to our attempts to influence others when we get so invested in our
hot button issues that we seek to push
our opinions, convictions and lifestyle choices in inappropriate
ways. We can have the best of motives and care deeply about others, but still miss the mark. If we are in a position of leadership or influence (such as a
pastor, boss, husband, parent, close confidante, or mentor), this can
also quickly become abuse of authority. Our concern becomes a form of
coercion, even if we aren't technically “forcing” somehow to go
along with our plans for them.
I
consider myself to be “Reformed” in doctrine, but I would
certainly distance myself from the 16th century Calvinists
who persecuted Anabaptists to the point of death over the issue of believer's baptism. It's a good thing times have changed! Despite the fact that I do not believe in infant baptism,
I can't even imagine my Presbyterian pastor blasting me over that issue. I
respect his sincere views and he respects mine.
I also shake my head
at the 17th century Puritans who hanged my aged ancestor,
Margaret Scott, during the Salem Witch Trials. Passion and
superstition trumped reason and compassion, and the Puritans have tragically become a laughingstock of American history despite the lasting legacy of their many sterling character qualities. In my own 21st century experience, I left another Reformed-doctrine church denomination after many years of membership because of various issues. In good
conscience, I could not stay, but I still love and respect my friends and family
members who attend these churches. And I'm not a fan of most preachers who are popular with Reformed evangelicals; Mark Driscoll is particularly disturbing.
One
thing I do love about Reformed doctrine is the concept of God's
Providence – that he is ultimately in control of what happens in
our lives, that he is watching over us and bringing us through the
hard times, the difficult days. If God is in control, if he can woo
and change the hardest heart, then I don't have to pull all of the
human strings to manipulate others into doing what I think is right.
I can be patient with others and with myself, and not work myself
into a frenzy when they won't change or I can't seem to change.
Conversely, if someone is trying to manipulate me, I can take
responsibility for my decision making, my own physical, emotional and
spiritual well-being under the gracious guidance of God. I can set boundaries of acceptable ways of relating to me.
What
I am trying to say is that when dealing with others, we need to
respect liberty of conscience and the dignity of making decisions.
Sure,
go ahead and present your information persuasively and logically.
Invite them to consider it. Set an example to match your words. But
stay calm. Let the force of your argument be from your personal
credibility and your reasonable words. Then back off and let them
make them their own free choice. Pushing your agenda may be
counterproductive anyway – the harder you try, the more they
resist. None of us wants to be someone else's improvement project.
None of us wants to be controlled. That is not necessarily rebellion
(as it is often labeled by those who want to maintain power), but is
often an expression of our God-given liberty of conscience.
Ask
yourself, will this interaction improve my relationship? Do the
people I want to influence know that I care more about them as
individual people than I do about changing them? Do they know that I
will love and accept them no matter what they choose? Am I controlling myself as much as I want to control them?
If you have a tendency
to control others “for their own good” there is still hope for you to
change. Learn to inspire
your loved ones to gain the courage and confidence to face their
problems rather than always trying to fix things for them. Learn to
ask what you can do to help and then do it, even if it seems too insignificant, even if you think you know better what they need. Learn to apologize when you have offended, without using that as an opportunity to launch back into the discussion in the same way. Learn to listen well and long.
And
may we always remember to pray for God to pour out his most abundant
blessings on them, even if we don't approve of their actions or
lifestyle. The man who once violently persecuted Christians – and
whom God still saved in an unexpected way - penned these words in his
letter to the church at Ephesus:
“I
pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with
power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that
Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that
you, being rooted and established in love,may
have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and
long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know
this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to
the measure of all the fullness of God.Now
to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or
imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to
him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all
generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians
3:16-21
“Then
we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the
waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by
the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful
scheming.Instead,
speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into
him who is the Head, that is, Christ.”Ephesians
4:14-15
“So
then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore
let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your
mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s
way.” Romans 14:12-13
"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." James 1:19
“Thequiet words of the wise
are moretobeheededthan
the
shouts of a ruler of fools.”Ecclesiastes 9:17
As
Chris Rice sings in "You Don't Have to Yell":
Everybody
take a breath Why
are all your faces red? We're
missing all the words you said You
don't have to yell Draw
your lines And
choose your sides Cause
many things are worth the fight But
louder doesn't make you right You
don't have to yell, Oh, you don't have to yell!
P.S. My friend Karen Campbell, of www.ThatMom.com, post this quote from C.S. Lewis on her Facebook.
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised
for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to
live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber
baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be
satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end
for they do so with the approval of their own conscience. They may be more
likely to go to Heaven yet at the same time likelier to make a Hell of earth.
This very kindness stings with intolerable insult. To be “cured” against one’s
will and cured of states which we may not regard as disease is to be put on a
level of those who have not yet reached the age of reason or those who never
will; to be classed with infants, imbeciles, and domestic animals." ~ C.
S. Lewis
P.P.S. I took the butterfly picture at the top of this post with my iPod while out on a walk in my neighborhood. It is my submission this week to the P52 Photo Project for this week's theme "Birds or Flying."
I asked the students in my home school co-op English class to bring in items for the mom's gift baskets, and we've been able to fill two so far. To get them in the spirit, I brought in the picture book Lights on the River by Jane Resh Thomas, which is about the plight of impoverished migrant workers. It's one of my favorite books, and I warned them that I would cry when I read it. I think it made quite an impression on them. 
