You Can Make This Holiday Season a Little Merrier for Others

Dear friends,

I've been thinking lately, as so many of you have, about how many people are in survival mode during the holidays. I'm not talking about how they have just crammed their schedules too busy or they are running around trying to buy all of their feast ingredients and gifts in time. I am talking about real survival mode: they don't have enough food to eat, decent clothes to wear, proper medical attention, maybe even a roof over their heads. Or they might be struggling through chronic pain or handicaps - physical, emotional, and or spiritual. They might be afflicted with mental illness. They might just be lonely or anxious, or grieving the loss of loved ones.

Think through the people you know, or even those whom you don't know yet. What are they going through right now?

Where are they? In a Third World country around the globe from you, on the streets downtown, in a decent enough home down the street from you, or, chances are, they might be living at your house. This might be you.

What can you do? How can you help make the holiday season a little merrier for someone else?

• Invite an international student or someone else who has no local family over for a holiday meal, even if it is not right on Thanksgiving or Christmas Day. How about hosting a Friendsgiving this year to give everyone a chance to gather for food, fun, and friendly conversation? 

• Talk to a lonely friend. A cup of tea? A listening ear for sure. Listen, don't lecture.

• Watch what you say to people, especially among those whom you don't know really, really well. You might make a critical comment about "other people's problems" (such as substance abuse, financial issues, family crisis, mental illness, etc.) not realizing that those in your presence are affected by it too. You don't always know what someone is going through, and if you are throwing off negative vibes, you can be sure they won't be eager to tell you about it, unless it is to tell you off for being insensitive. :-(

• Be extra sensitive and gracious to families with special needs children. Read here: Making It Through the Holidays with Children Who Have Special Needs (at Karen Campell's That Mom blog)

• Offer to watch a friends' kids so their stressed out parent(s) (especially a single mom or dad) can go out for some alone time, a date with a hubby or friend, or a holiday party. 

• Take a fancy casserole, a pumpkin pie, or a plate of Christmas cookies to a shut in. Be sure to ask about food restrictions if they have health issues. Maybe you could reduce salt in your meats and side dishes, and use stevia instead of sugar for your baked goods.

• Sing Christmas carols at a nursing home. 

• Write letters or make cards for (or with) elderly relatives or neighbors. Add pictures that your kids have made.

• Help an elderly or handicapped friend decorate for Christmas. They can't always reach up high or lift boxes. See Easy Christmas Decorating on a Dime.

• Throw a Christmas craft party for neighbor kids. Provide all of the supplies for projects for various ages and interests. Make sure you serve lots of yummy snacks! And tell them about Jesus. Yes, tell them about Jesus.

• Go serve the Thanksgiving or Christmas meal at the homeless shelter. 

• Donate non-perishable foods or gift cards to a food drive. 

• Pick out gifts for a needy someone in your community. (Ask your pastor for the names of needy folks or worthy organizations.) 

• Be a Secret Santa and drop a bag of goodies or presents off on a doorstep of someone you know. Don't know what to buy? A gift card to Walmart or Target is always appreciated so they can buy for their own kids. And then maybe a Starbucks or Panera gift card so they can stop for a hot drink or a snack while they're out shopping.

• Harvest of Hope with Partners International - gift catalog of items you can order to be sent to impoverished people around the world. Piglets anyone? Or how about medicine, or school supplies, or clean water, or therapy for a disabled child? There are plenty of options to fit your budget and get your kids involved!

Blessings,

Virginia Knowles

Note: This is an edited repost from 2012.

It Is Well with My Soul (Strength in Hymn)

"It Is Well with My Soul"

by Horatio Spafford

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

when sorrows like sea billows roll;

whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well with my soul.

It is well with my soul,

it is well, it is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, 
though trials should come,

let this blest assurance control,

that Christ has regarded my helpless estate,

and hath shed his own blood for my soul.

It is well with my soul,

it is well, it is well with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!

My sin, not in part but the whole,

is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,

praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

It is well with my soul,

it is well, it is well with my soul.

And, Lord, haste the day 
when my faith shall be sight,

the clouds be rolled back as a scroll;

the trump shall resound, 
and the Lord shall descend,

even so, it is well with my soul.

It is well with my soul,

it is well, it is well with my soul. 

~*~*~

My mother and grandmother in July

1. My sister called on Monday night. My Grandma Hess is dying of congestive heart failure, and I am expecting a phone call with the news of her passing any time now. I thought that's why Barb was calling then, but she was actually telling me that Grandma was restless, having a hard time getting settled comfortably for the night. Barb invited me to join her in singing hymns to help her rest, especially since Grandma had been a church organist for decades. I suggested Great Is Thy Faithfulness.Then she started in with It Is Well With My Soul, while I flipped through my hymnal to find the words, most of which I know already. We ended with one of Grandma's favorites, Love Lifted Me, which she played on the piano for me at her nursing home last year. I can't think of a better comfort and I am glad that I could participate in some small way, even though I am several hundred miles away. Please pray for us all as we are working through the loss of another much loved family member. I will write more about her later.

2. Many people know the story behind the hymn of faith: Horatio Spafford wrote it on a ship in the ocean at the very spot where his four daughters had perished when their ship had sunk. Earlier, his life savings had been wiped out in the Chicago fire. Yet he expressed his abiding faith in a loving and powerful God. It has been beloved by Christians ever since.  You can read more about this story and hear the song here: "It Is Well with My Soul" at Songs and Hymns.

3. And now, a little bit of philosophizing on the lyrics: "It is well with my soul..."  I think of two extremes of people in the ranks of Christianity. The first are those who strongly believe in what is called "positive confession." They won't acknowledge anything wrong in their lives, unless it is to come against it by claiming complete victory right now - despite the actual reality of their circumstances. "Name it and claim it" is the way of life here. So it's, "I'm not sick!  I claim my perfect health in the name of Jesus, because by his stripes I am healed!" These folks are vulnerable to those in the prosperity gospel movement who will appeal to their sense of spiritual entitlement. They can often be motivated to do foolish things because they want an instant fix to their health, finances, or family problems. The other kind of extreme Christians are the navel gazers whose mantra is, "I'm so full of sin! There is nothing good in my soul! I don't deserve anything. I can't do anything worthwhile, because my best deeds are filthy rags to him." These folks are vulnerable to abuse by those who use their poor self-identity in order to control them. They confuse obedience to God with obedience to humans who claim spiritual authority. "I'm so foolish, I don't know what to do, so someone needs to tell me. I can only do what they ask me to do, or I would be pridefully striving in my own strength and wisdom." Their sense of initiative and Christ-confidence and seeking wisdom in God's word for themselves is lost because they see themselves as helpless grimy little spiritual worms. The actual truth? Yes, we are sinners who need God for salvation and strength. We live real lives that are often confusing and messy. But he has saved us for his glory, and we are now beloved saints, children of God! Not everything will turn out the way we want this side of eternity, but we can trust God still. It will all come out right then, and in the meantime, we keep doing our best to make things right in our own lives now. Our trials here on earth will serve to strengthen us, help us to depend more on God instead of ourselves, and make us more compassionate to the sufferings of others. We can step out in faith and confidence that he has great things in store for us, that he has gifted us to serve in our own unique ways that others might not always understand or appreciate. We do not have to live under condemnation for our weaknesses! We just need to continually offer up whatever we do have and whoever we really are. He receives our gifts of faith with joy. We are covered in the righteousness of Christ and he fills with the Holy Spirit as we continually yield our hearts to him. That's what he sees. That's what enables us to sing, "It is well with my soul!"  More on this here:

• The Life of Christ, Our Identity in Christ, The Priesthood of All Believers, Submission and Humility
• Dignity, Decisions, and Liberty of Conscience
• It Became to Me a Dark Thing (A Poem)
• Wisdom from Letters of Direction by Abbé de Tourville

4. The photos in this post were taken yesterday at a local suburban park. You can see more here:  Kewanee Park on a Foggy Day.   Most of my entries in this Strength in Hymn series are accompanied by sets of nature photos.

I know this has been a really long post.  Thanks for reading this far.

Grace and peace,

Virginia Knowles

www.WatchTheShepherd.blogspot.com

Be Thou My Vision (Strength in Hymn)

“Be Thou My Vision”

Dallan Forgail (8th Century)

Be Thou my Vision, oh Lord of my heart,

Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art

Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,

Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;

I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;

Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;

Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,

Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:

Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,

High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,

May I reach Heaven’s joys, 
O bright Heaven’s Sun!

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,

Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

  

Reading the words of this song makes me realize how much richer, more beautiful and less complicated life (and churches) would be if Jesus were everything to us, and fame and fortune were the "little deals" of life.  It reminds me of another hymn chorus: "Turn your eyes upon Jesus / Look full on his wonderful face / And the things of earth will grow strangely dim / In the light of his glory and grace."

My father chose this ancient Irish hymn for my mother's memorial service this past Saturday, explaining, "I am a Celt."  Six of my seven daughters - Mary, Julia, Rachel, Joanna, Lydia and Naomi - sang it, along with Mom's cousin Ruth.  Dad cried as he heard them rehearse on his porch, and he cried again when they sang it at the church. The older five, now all adults, used to sing together in their matching jumpers in our living room for our visiting friends and family.  It's been so long since they sang together, but this was so perfect!  My cousin, Dr. Mary Lynne Bennett, played the piano for this song and some of the others in the  service.  It was all beautiful.  I'll try to post more videos in coming weeks of the music, the eulogies, the Scripture readings, and more.

Here is the video - what harmony!

We are on our way home to Florida and I am exhausted from being away from home for 35 of the past 45 days.  The pictures are flowers at the service.

Virginia Knowles
www.WatchTheShepherd.blogspot.com

Sweet Hour of Prayer (Strength in Hymn)

Sweet Hour of Prayer William Walford, 1772-1850 Sweet hour of prayer! sweet hour of prayer! That calls me from a world of care, And bids me at my Father’s throne Make all my wants and wishes known. In seasons of distress and grief, My soul has often found relief And oft escaped the tempter’s snare By thy return, sweet hour of prayer! Sweet hour of prayer! sweet hour of prayer! The joys I feel, the bliss I share, Of those whose anxious spirits burn With strong desires for thy return! With such I hasten to the place Where God my Savior shows His face, And gladly take my station there, And wait for thee, sweet hour of prayer! Sweet hour of prayer! sweet hour of prayer! Thy wings shall my petition bear To Him whose truth and faithfulness Engage the waiting soul to bless. And since He bids me seek His face, Believe His Word and trust His grace, I’ll cast on Him my every care, And wait for thee, sweet hour of prayer! Sweet hour of prayer! sweet hour of prayer! May I thy consolation share, Till, from Mount Pisgah’s lofty height, I view my home and take my flight: This robe of flesh I’ll drop and rise To seize the everlasting prize; And shout, while passing through the air, “Farewell, farewell, sweet hour of prayer!”

A few weeks ago, while visiting my parents in Maryland, I asked my father what his favorite hymn was so I could use it for my Strength in Hymn series as I had "In the Garden" for my mother.  I should say that he is not a big hymn fan, but as he listed a few, he said there was one with a line about Mount Pisgah's lofty height that he liked.  He told me it was "Sweet Hour of Prayer."

In the intervening weeks, my sweet mother passed away and left a huge hole in all of our hearts.  I flew back up to Maryland this past weekend to be with my father, sister, brother, sister-in-law, nieces, nephew, grandmother, and aunt.  Today I went to the Christian bookstore near my grandmother's nursing home to find a guest book for the memorial service.  The sales lady there guessed correctly that it was for my mother, and stopped to pray with me with a gentle hand on mine. I also noticed in the back of the store a little prayer room with its own "wailing wall" where customers could fold up a little slip of paper with a prayer request and wedge it in.

I stayed an hour with Grandma, chatting about my memories of her homestead in Pennsylvania, and gazing at the deer and birds outside her window at the nursing home. The deer munched on leaves from the bushes, visited the salt lick my mother had set out, edged over quietly to drink from the puddle near the window, and then munched leaves from the bushes again before dashing away. 

And here I am tonight, reading afresh the lines surrounding the one with Mount Pisgah's lofty height.  I pray that "may I thy consolation share" because my mother has dropped her robe of flesh, took her flight, and risen to seize the everlasting prize. 

Yet even when I am not enduring a "a season of distress and grief" I still need the sweet hour of prayer.  It is so easy to pull away or at least drift away from that.  But he tenderly calls us to pray and bids us to seek his face.

Grace and peace,
Virginia Knowles
www.WatchTheShepherd.blogspot.com

P.S. The deer and bird pictures were taken during my visit at the Light House nursing home in Ellicott City, Maryland. The butterfly pictures were taken the same day at my parents' home.

For All the Faithful Women (Strength in Hymn)

For All the Faithful Women

Herman Stuempfle, Jr.

For all the faithful women who served in days of old

To you shall thanks be given, to all their story told. 

They served with strength and gladness in tasks your wisdom gave. 

To you their lives bore witness, proclaimed your power to save."

O God, for saints and servants, those named and those unknown
In whom through all the ages Your light of glory shone,
We offer glad thanksgiving and fervent prayer we raise
That faithful in Your service, our lives may sing Your praise.

We praise your name for Miriam, who sang triumphantly

While Pharaoh's vaunted army lay drowned beneath the sea.

As Israel marched to freedom, her chains of bondage gone,

So we may reach the kingdom your mighty arm has won.

To Hannah, praying childless, before the throne of grace,

You gave a son and called him to serve before your face.

Grant us her perseverance; Lord, teach us how to pray

And trust in your deliverance when darkness hides our way.

For Ruth, who left her homeland and ventured forth in faith,

Who pledged to serve and worship Naomi's God till death.

We praise you, God of Israel, and pray for hearts set free

To bind ourselves to others in love and loyalty.

We honor faithful Mary, fair maiden, full of grace.

She bore the Christ, our brother, who saved our human race.

May we, with her, surrender ourselves to your command

And lay upon your altar our gifts of heart and hand.

We sing of busy Martha, who toiled with pot and pan

While Mary sat in silence to hear the word again.

Christ, keep our hearts attentive, to truth that you declare,

And strengthen us for service when work becomes our prayer.

Recall the outcast woman with whom our Lord conversed,

Christ gave her living water to quench her deepest thirst.

Like her, our hearts are yearning, Christ offers us his word,

Then may our lips be burning to witness to our Lord.

We praise the other Mary, who came at Easter dawn,

And near the tomb did tarry, but found her Lord was gone.

As joyfully she saw him in resurrection light,

May we by faith behold him, the day who ends all night.

Lord, hear our praise of Dorcas, who served the sick and poor.

Her hands were cups of kindness, her heart an open door.

Send us, O Christ, your body, where people cry in pain,

And touch them with compassion to make them whole again.

For Eunice and for Lois, we sing our thanks and praise.

Young Timothy they nurtured and led him in your ways.

Raise up in ev'ry household true teachers of your word

Whose lives will bear clear witness to Christ, our risen Lord.

All praise to God the Father!  All praise to Christ the Son!

All praise the Holy Spirit, who binds the Church in one!

With saints who went before us, with saints who witness still,

We sing glad alleluias and strive to do Your will.

Sunday morning I went to the church down the street with my father.  Early in the service, he walked to the front to invite his fellow parishioners at New Hope Lutheran to the memorial service for my mother, who sang in the choir there.  We are planning much music, beloved hymns.  She loved to sing.  We will sing for her.

In the Sunday service one of the hymns we sang was "For All the Faithful Women." However, we only sang the first, seventh, and last verses.  So touching to see that the seventh verse is about Martha and Mary, and so were the Gospel reading and part of the sermon.  My mother's name is Mary.  She was the perfect blend of busy service and quiet friendship.  Dad has said so many times in the past few days that he didn't know how many people's lives she had touched until she had passed away.  She was a faithful woman, a saint, who served in days anew, not days of old.  Dad says we should repay her love by passing it on, following her example.

Later that afternoon, her pastor, John Sabatelli, arrived at my parents' home to discuss the memorial.  But we didn't just talk about the details of the service.  He wanted us to talk about my mother.  He listened well: about her love of music, flowers, birds, really all of nature, photography, stained glass, travel, and most of all, her family.  She was a faithful woman, a beloved woman.  She was, and always will be, my mother.





May all of the generations of women (and men) in our family be just as faithful.  The picture below (from my post Five Generations) was taken last October.  My mother Mary is in the back on the left, Grandma Hess in the front.  Mary, the oldest of my seven daughters, is holding her older son. I'm on the right holding her younger son.

Who has been a faithful woman in your life?

Virginia Knowles
www.WatchTheShepherd.blogspot.com

P.S. #1: The photos in this post were taken at New Hope Lutheran on Sunday morning, with the exception of the one of Rev. Sabetelli, taken in the afternoon at the house, and the ones of my mother and family.

P.S. #2: You can see my photo tributes to my mother's life here:

• Radiant Nurturer: Recent Photos of My Mother
• Vintage Photos of My Mother
• In Memoriam: A Tribute to My Mother, Mary Quarrier

P.S. #3:  If you are interested in the topic of women knowing and serving God, you will like these books by Carolyn Custis James:  When Life and Beliefs Collide: How Knowing God Makes a Difference and Half the Church: Recapturing God's Global Vision for Women. The first of these specifically discusses the women named Mary in the Bible, and how they related to Jesus.  Women need to know their theology well, and even more, they need to know and love their Savior well.  We are not just wives and mothers.  We are daughters of the Heavenly Father.  We are not bound by gender.  We are empowered by our faith and the Holy Spirit.  See also Women's Voices Rising.

In the Garden (When the Caregiver Needs Care)

I come to the garden alone
While the dew is still on the roses
And the voice I hear falling on my ear
The Son of God discloses.

And He walks with me,
And He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own;
And the joy we share as we tarry there,
None other has ever known.

He speaks, and the sound of His voice,
Is so sweet the birds hush their singing,
And the melody that He gave to me
Within my heart is ringing.

And He walks with me,
And He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own;
And the joy we share as we tarry there,
None other has ever known.

I’d stay in the garden with Him
Though the night around me be falling,
But He bids me go; through the voice of woe
His voice to me is calling.

And He walks with me,
And He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own;
And the joy we share as we tarry there,
None other has ever known.

"In the Garden"

Charles Austin Miles (1912)

You can hear country singer Brad Paisley 

sing this old hymn here: In the Garden 

~*~*~

I asked my mom yesterday what her favorite hymn is.  First she started humming, "Oh How He Loves You and Me" and then my sister reminded her that she has said "In the Garden" is her favorite, too.  That one certainly goes with the flower pictures I snapped at her house.  Mom is an avid gardener and has created so much beauty for us to enjoy.  I think this hymn is also a good reminder to focus on our faith and God's help in our lives. I personally need to spend some more time alone with Jesus "in the garden" or anywhere else.  I often miss the spiritual intimacy that he provides.  He really cares and ministers to our hearts' deepest needs. 

Mom is still in the hospital with complications after back surgery two weeks ago.  She has been bouncing back and forth between hospitals and rehab facilities.  Thanks to a kind gift of airplane tickets from my Aunt Nancy,  I finally flew up this weekend to spend time with Mom and help out.  It is such a privilege.  That's one reason I wanted to give her the honor of choosing this week's hymn for my Strength in Hymn series.

My mother has always been a nurturer and caregiver of both plants and people.  Not only did she raise three children to adulthood, she also hosted some of her nieces and nephews during their college years.  Later, she was the primary caregiver for her elderly mother-in-law, mother, and father -- for years on end.  My grandmother finally moved to a nursing center last year.

And now Mom needs care herself!  Allowing others to take care of you after you are the one who has cared for others can be really tough.  Caregivers like to be up and doing, not down and needing.  Those of us who are close to caregivers need to make sure they are getting help for their tough job, whether it is a listening ear, or a good book, or a meal brought in, or an afternoon off.  Mom's pastor at New Hope Lutheran, Rev. John Sabetelli, visited yesterday and encouraged her to let others know what she needs.  He said he would let her fellow choir members know that she's still in the hospital.  Her therapist will be visiting today, too.

Mom has had a lot of family members visit in the hospital.  My dad's sister Camille, who lives in Denver, has been in town for other reasons, so it's been good to see her.

I also took the opportunity to go visit my Grandma Hess in her memory care nursing facility yesterday. I passed my intersection on the way to visit her, but providentially discovered a Christian bookstore at the next stoplight. I had just been wishing I knew where one was because I wanted to buy some little gifts for Mom and Grandma to encourage them.  

"He has made everything beautiful in its time."  Ecclesiastes 3:11. God sure made Grandma beautiful in her 98 years!

Grandma is another of those lifelong caregivers now needing care.  She wouldn't eat her dinner until the attendant promised to bring me a plate of the yummy chicken and mushroom potpie and green salad, too.  She's hospitable, even if she can't do it herself, and even if she can't remember my name when she hasn't seen me in several months.

Well, it's time to head back over to the hospital after a nice breakfast chat with my Dad.  I've got a heap of TLC (Tender Loving Care) for my Mom.  She deserves it!

Related posts:

• A Bouquet for My Mommy (more flower pictures for my mom in the hospital)
• Savior, Like a Shepherd Lead Us (moms needing tender care to lead children)
• As a Tree Beside the Water 
• Fairest Lord Jesus
• A Story About Elder Abuse (Advocating for the Vulnerable #1)

Grace,

Virginia Knowles
www.WatchTheShepherd.blogspot.com

Please pray for us. My mother passed away last night, on Friday, July 19.  Six of my children and I had driven up there for two weeks and got back last Sunday.  Mom had been scheduled to be released from the hospital to home yesterday.  Instead, she was released from her body and went HOME to be with Jesus.